Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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