Yo dont text me then not text me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
