On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you didnt know i had herpes?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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