Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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