Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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