I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.