Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I would ride that face into the sunset