if you like me you must not know who I am
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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