Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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