I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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