Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
