If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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