my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
