I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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