thus making me awesome and them whores
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
