he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
