hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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