I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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