would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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