i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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