He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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