If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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