I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
