You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
