So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
