i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
