u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
