Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
