yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
