Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
