Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
