haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize