What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
