Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
