i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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