No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
