Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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