should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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