So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
