what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
