8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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