OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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