i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
