I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
