I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
