Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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