At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
