For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize