Midget sex pt 2 tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
