I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
