Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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