I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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