Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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