think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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