Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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