I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
