Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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