So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
