new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
