ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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