I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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