I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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