just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
