it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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